I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
