I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
