I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we're making bets on your personal life
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
