used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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