Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
