I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
