wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
