K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
