Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
should my penis look like a turkey
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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