please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
