I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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