The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
