talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
