I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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