Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
