I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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