I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
