bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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