I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
