Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize