Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
