Is it normal to miss your booty call?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
