I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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