he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
