he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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