i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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