Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
