I just made out with a guy for $7.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize