I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
3pm strippers are depressing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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