i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
