Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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