Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
