We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the raccoons are back...
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