is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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