i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she smelled like a LAN party
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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