Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
