I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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