Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
