yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
