you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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