well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
