I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
