i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
