The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they call him Oral-B. enough said
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
