whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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