dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
