is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
