Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
