I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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