i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
