brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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