Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
