You're my little dorito
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
