Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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