Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(845): View more from New York

How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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(509): View more from Washington

Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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(319): View more from Iowa

That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk

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(802): View more from Vermont

Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer

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