you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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