you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
