So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
