Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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